Kelvin is awesome. Celsius and Fahrenheit are silly.

Some time many years ago, we decided to measure something that has a zero value on a scale where zero isn’t at the zero value. A temperature of no heat at all is -273 and -460 in degrees Celsius and degrees Fahrenheit respectively. This makes no sense. None.

In Kelvin, a total lack of heat is exactly 0 K. This makes sense. The lack of distance is exactly 0 meters. And 0 yards. And 0 parsecs.

So the obvious solution is to either switch everyone over to Kelvin (or Rankine if you’re a hipster), or to change introduce a new measurement for distance that has the zero point at some other value than no distance at all.

I suggest the Flen, based off the human body. 0 Flen is exactly 1.76 meters, because that happens to be my length. 1 Flen is 2.76 meters. -1.76 Flen is 0 meters, or a total lack of distance.

Some measurements in Flen:
Diameter of CD-Rom: -1.64 Flen
Length of Notch: 0 Flen
Length of Jakob: 0.02 Flen
Height of Eiffel Tower: 322.4 Flen

Who’s with me?

  1. i-will-batman-you reblogged this from notch
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  11. spife reblogged this from notch
  12. tidal-incantations reblogged this from notch and added:
    But…Celsius is based...life: water. I can’t see why people didn’t use this. Water...
  13. blogthingiguess reblogged this from notch
  14. yimmmy reblogged this from notch and added:
    Notch continues to amaze me.
  15. tipsytentacle reblogged this from notch and added:
    READ THIS!
  16. solteyr reblogged this from notch and added:
    Weirdly awesome.
  17. vinnielasystems reblogged this from notch
  18. mcgamex reblogged this from notch and added:
    Agreed entirely.. EVERYBODY SHOULD USE KELVIN!
  19. hakad reblogged this from notch
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  21. strawberryutopia reblogged this from notch
  22. godas reblogged this from notch and added:
    I’m love Flen.